3 Stories of TMI

Let me first start by saying thanks for still reading my blog again after that disaster of a post that was written at 3 am.  It was super over dramatic with a ton of grammatical and syntactical errors to boot. NO MORE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT POSTS FOR ME!!! Thanks for all the kind words and advice I received.  It was very sweet and helpful.  I have yet to reply to everyone because so many people messaged me.  If you sent me some words of wisdom, it was greatly appreciated and I promise I will get back to you. Keep the advice and encouragement coming!
But first, I need some lightheartedness up in the blog.
When you are a parent, no topic is off limits. I find that I talk mostly about something that comes out of the human body.  If you are squeamish you should probably just skip this post.  If you find bathroom humor as funny as the Howard's do, read on my friend.

Story 1 -
Our family took a trip to Knoxville this weekend for a friend's wedding.  On the way, we stopped at the yuckiest gas station in the state of Kentucky. This should not have been a problem since we only had to get gas and nurse Jacy in the car.  We stopped and Josh took a very happy, smiley, cooing Jacy out of her car seat only to find a puddle of neon yellow poo in the bottom of her car seat.  Josh immediately began saying things like "Whoa!" and "Oh my gosh girl!" I got out of the car and he brought her to me holding her out at arms length.  I quickly saw that her entire back from knees to shoulder blades was COVERED in poop.  It was not a good look.  I quickly scanned for a bathroom but saw they were outside the gas station and one shady looking lady was coming out.  There was not a changing table and that floor was not an option. I bit the bullet and changed her on the front seat of the car.  We basically went through an entire box of wipes. I had to clean her, my seat, and myself while Josh cleaned her car seat.  It was mess.  Jacy thought this was so funny and was so happy and smiley the entire time.  I eventually got her clean (enough) and put some new clothes on her and proceeded to the hotel.  When we got there we took Jacy out the car seat and she still smelt so bad.  She got a sink bath in the hotel bathroom.  We had not planned on giving her a bath so we didn't really have her soap or anything.  We used mine and got over it.

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Story 2 -
I have been working really hard to keep a clean house.  I have to say, I am doing a much better job than I ever have before.  While cleaning the floors in the living room I kept finding a these little round water spots on the floor.  I kept thinking, "Man! Those pugs! They keep dripping water all over the house"  Then I realized that it would be darn near impossible for the dogs to be dripping water that far from their water bowl.  The next time I started to clean the floors, I saw them again.  I again blamed the flat faced members of our family.  Finally, about a week ago I turned on the light in the middle of the night to find that it was I was dripping breast milk all over our floor in the living room.  I now dress drastically different at night. No more "water spots" on the living room floor.

Story 3 -
Jacy had her first snotty nose. The little bulb aspirator they give you the hospital was just not getting all the junk out of her nose. She would also scream her head off anytime we tried to use this.  She was having some trouble eating due to her blocked airways so I finally broke down and bought this little gem:

The funny part is, that as soon as we bought it, it became a competition between Josh and I to see who to suck the most snot out of our kid's head.  Josh definitely won, but I like to think I loosened things up for him.  I would like to mention, this thing works AWESOME and it much more comfortable for Jacy than that bulb they give you at the hospital. She thinks is funny and I always think it is cool how much we can get out of her head.  I even said to Josh, "They should sell these for adults." What the heck is wrong with me.