Preparation

I read a ton of pregnancy, childbirth, and infant care books while I was pregnant. When I say a ton, I mean it. Here is a short list of books I have read. (note - some I just sampled or skimmed)

Husband Coached Childbirth
Birthing From Within
Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
Mayo Clinic Guide to Healthily Pregnancy
What to Expect When Your Expecting
The Birthing Book
Childbirth Without Fear
The Fussy Baby Book
Childbirth the Bradley Way
Babywise
The Attachment Parenting Book
The No Cry Sleep Solution
The No Cry Nap Solution
Eat, Sleep, Poop
Spirit- Led Parenting
The Baby Book
The Thinking Women's Guide To Childbirth
The Happiest Baby on the Block

I am sure there are some I missed. I basically looked at any book I could get my hands on. It was kind of weird to be constantly loosing myself in baby centered literature but I am so glad I did. Not because I learned a ton about birth, infant care, or child rearing. But because I realized a ton about myself and my creator.

I don't not want to mess this up. I take parenting so seriously it could make me crazy. Besides my marriage, I cannot think of another thing I care more deeply about. I think being a parent is the most important job I will ever have. I cannot dream of a better or more effective way to share the gospel or affect the world. It is really mind-blowing.

With that being said, I will mess this up. No matter how hard I try or how much guidance I receive, I will fail as a parent at some point. I came to realize this by reading the list of books above they would all say things like "Don't worry if you... Its not to late... You can try again" I remember thinking "TRY AGAIN! - there is no TRY!!!" Infact, it is the only common thread that all the books above have in common. And if the only things these books have on common is consoling patents once something is not going well, it must be unavoidable. Which makes sense, I am an imperfect being so my parenting skills will also be flawed. It was a hard pill to swallow for me.

For those of you who know me well, you know I tend to be a pretty passionate person in general but never in my life have I felt the kind of desire to invest in anything the way I want to invest in Josh and Jacy. I want to work hard to be Godly, fun, wise, helpful, loving, and supportive wife and mother.

I am so glad I am not doing this alone. I have a wonderful God who will help me parent Jacy and be a living supportive wife.