I worry about my house more than anything else in my world. I am not sure where this comes from but my husband can attest of the annoyingness of my thought process regarding our home. I constantly feel like it is not clean enough, comfortable enough, big enough, and so on. In the past it has actually stopped me from having people over or even letting people into the house period. It is weird because with the exception of a few times I can remember, our house is usually fairly well maintained. I also have no worries about going over to someone else home and seeing it in disarray. It is a "me" problem as usual.
This is a common conversation that occurs after I come home from working a full day with 6 rowdy boys.
Me: I need to clean this house!
Josh: Why?
Me: It is a mess! Look at this place! (grand gesture of the arms with exaggerated facial expression)
Josh: It doesn't look so bad.
Me: Are you kidding?! Look at that (insert any item) sitting on the (insert any place)!
Josh: Go sit down.
Josh does a really good job of keeping me calm when I get in crazy mode but I feel like I am in crazy mode a lot more often. I would blame it on hormones but it is just a bad attitude.
Instead of saying to myself "I am so blessed to have this awesome home." I am constantly saying "I hate this couch/carpet/closet/desk/table/room/dishes we need a better one." The list can really go on and on. I have no idea where the sudden desire to have the BEST and NEWEST things is coming from but I gotta cool it. I even find myself saying things to Josh like "We should have never redone the floors, we are just going to ruin them." STOP... ALREADY...JENNY! (I say this in my head like Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle)
As I look around, my house looks pretty good. Sure there is crafting items on the kitchen table and shoes by the door but it is fine. I gotta get over this! Comparing myself to my friends and worrying about what others think is make me nuts. Many (more than 5) people have told me "Well, you are going to have move once that baby comes." This is starting to get to me and I start thinking that my home is not fit for our family. (Let alone the other baby I am going to care for starting in the winter!) I need to stop listening to them and start relying on what I know is true. What my kid will need most is Jesus and everything else is a bonus. Yeah, yeah, don't worry. We have bottles, and clothes, and diapers... but I do need to get my priorities strait.
Current Action/Lack of Action Shot in the Howard living room
7 comments:
Jenny, you and Josh will kick some major ass at this parenting thing. I have absolutely no doubt. Maybe you are feeling more pressure because you are about to welcome the ultimate house guest. Although, he/she won't be a guest but a new family member. It's natural to want everything to be perfect. It's hard to know which things are absolute necessities with the first baby, but it looks like you've got it covered: diapers, clothes, to know Jesus, food, 2 pugs, a mom and a dad and probably 5 million books. What else could there be? Another thing is that you have made your house a wonderful, creative home. A great place to grow up. :)
We like your house (I just polled the entire household, minus Truman, and I vote for the baby). You will figure out where to put everything. You just need to settle it on down now. The nursery looks cute too and is in a great spot. Talk about a perfect room for him/her. Our baby will like it there too. Plus, you have a very cool backyard. Also, the new floors are very nice and I doubt you'll screw them up. Just have Josh wear Depends.
Girrrrrl. Let Sarah fill you in on our house woes. I totally feel the crazy with you. :) Most of it might be real but a good majority of it is in my head. Good for you for not blaming it all on hormones! That's my go-to excuse for most things right now. Hang in there!
It is so great to hear from you!!! I heard about your good news. CONGRATULATIONS! I am so happy for you and Bob. You guys will be great parents. Sarah told me some about your housing issues. I bet you do understand. Keep me updated!
Well Sugared - Thank for approving of our home. It is a better living arrangement than 90% of people who live on the planet. Josh might need depends. :0
You are always so encouraging. It is so great of you to say such nice things. We NEED to get together for Fiesta Friday. Would you be up for El Maguey this Friday by any chance?
This post is awesome. I love the exaggerated gestures and facial expressions! I also love that you worry about your house more than anything else in your world. Your place is too cute!!!
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