Preparation

I read a ton of pregnancy, childbirth, and infant care books while I was pregnant. When I say a ton, I mean it. Here is a short list of books I have read. (note - some I just sampled or skimmed)

Husband Coached Childbirth
Birthing From Within
Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
Mayo Clinic Guide to Healthily Pregnancy
What to Expect When Your Expecting
The Birthing Book
Childbirth Without Fear
The Fussy Baby Book
Childbirth the Bradley Way
Babywise
The Attachment Parenting Book
The No Cry Sleep Solution
The No Cry Nap Solution
Eat, Sleep, Poop
Spirit- Led Parenting
The Baby Book
The Thinking Women's Guide To Childbirth
The Happiest Baby on the Block

I am sure there are some I missed. I basically looked at any book I could get my hands on. It was kind of weird to be constantly loosing myself in baby centered literature but I am so glad I did. Not because I learned a ton about birth, infant care, or child rearing. But because I realized a ton about myself and my creator.

I don't not want to mess this up. I take parenting so seriously it could make me crazy. Besides my marriage, I cannot think of another thing I care more deeply about. I think being a parent is the most important job I will ever have. I cannot dream of a better or more effective way to share the gospel or affect the world. It is really mind-blowing.

With that being said, I will mess this up. No matter how hard I try or how much guidance I receive, I will fail as a parent at some point. I came to realize this by reading the list of books above they would all say things like "Don't worry if you... Its not to late... You can try again" I remember thinking "TRY AGAIN! - there is no TRY!!!" Infact, it is the only common thread that all the books above have in common. And if the only things these books have on common is consoling patents once something is not going well, it must be unavoidable. Which makes sense, I am an imperfect being so my parenting skills will also be flawed. It was a hard pill to swallow for me.

For those of you who know me well, you know I tend to be a pretty passionate person in general but never in my life have I felt the kind of desire to invest in anything the way I want to invest in Josh and Jacy. I want to work hard to be Godly, fun, wise, helpful, loving, and supportive wife and mother.

I am so glad I am not doing this alone. I have a wonderful God who will help me parent Jacy and be a living supportive wife.

GO BABY GO

long time, no post.... 

I have been wanting to update for a LONG time.  We have just been so busy and I feel that I have to get some other things done before I allow myself time for writing for my blog.

Jacy is now 8 weeks old.  She is awesome.  She is the best baby ever. In fact, sometimes she is a little too good.  She sleeps all night and it stresses me out. I set an alarm to get up with her but at 3am I have started to turn off the alarm without really waking up.  I should just quit worrying so much about her food intake.  She currently weighs 13.5 pounds.  She is super cute and happy all the time. I should just be thankful.

I love them

We have also gone out of town the past two weekends.  That means that I spend 2 days preparing to leave the house, we are gone for the weekend, and then I spend 2 days recovering from the trip. That means in the past two weeks we have had 1 day a week where we can relax and follow our typical routine. This has made for a busy and slightly insane mama.

We had a great time in St.Louis and Kansas City.  The past two weeks had lots of firsts for Jacy.

• She went to a Mexican restaurant - with no pants on. PARTAAAAY
• She went to Grandma and Grandpa Rowbottom's house.
• She met Deo and Grandpa James. She also met Aunt Kari and Uncle Dave.  Along with a bunch of cousins and friends. 
• She was very spoiled by her aunts.  She was held the ENTIRE weekend and I only changed her diaper in the middle of the night.  Her aunts REALLY love her. 
• She went to her first Royals game.  It was awesome.  She was such a good girl.  
• She saw fireworks for the first time.  It was a BIG HIT!!!  She was very wide eyed and didn't even jump.  She seemed to really love it.  We have already had some talks about how fire is not safe.
• She met a bunch of Josh's family members.  They threw her a welcome to the family party. It was very sweet.  She now has more clothes than we know what to do with!
• I am sure there are more but I can't think right now. 

She is a very loved little girl.

We are also preparing for a trip to Tennessee to see one of our good friends get married.  This will be an great time and we are excited to go. A 10 hour car ride with a 2 month old might be tricky.  I am planning on updating everyone after this experience. I am glad that we have done a few smaller trips before attempting a big one.  I have learned a lot about traveling with our new, larger family. Now I need a nap!!!

These guys get no love anymore. Poor pugs...

The 4th Trimester

My good friend Amy was talking about the first 3 months with a baby is like your 4th trimester of pregnancy.  I Googled this term last night about about 3:30 am because I wondered if other people had this idea too.  Come to find out I had already read the book this idea came from.  I forgot everything when I was pregnant.  I also think I was just worried about the practical application.

The idea is this - A guy named Harvey Karp came up with the term to explain the baby's transition from womb to life.  It is 3 months long (approximately) and there are things you can do to help your baby's last trimester go smoothly.  They are the 5 S's -Swaddling, Side/Stomach Position, Shushing, Swinging, and Sucking.  These are great for baby and help a parent calm a little fuss bucket.  This is great and all, but really the 4th trimester is just as much about the parent's transition as well.

To help myself not only survive but also enjoy this time, I have created what I like to call the 5 G's and a Q.  Here they are in no particular order.

1. Go to Sleep! - It doesn't matter if you have company or it is 5:00 in the evening.  Go to sleep you will not regret it. 
2. Give it up! - Quit worrying about house work or actual work.  It will make you crazy  you cannot do everything at once.  Take out is your friend! 
3. Get a Dang Shower! - Daily or anytime you feel like crying.  This means some days I take 2 and suddenly feel 100% better about my life. 
4. Give In! - Hold that baby all day long if you wanna.  I love this and it will not last forever.  You cannot spoil a new born right?! (I hope this is true or we are in big trouble) 
5. Get Out the House! - It feels good to do normal human things like grocery shop or stop for coffee.  Babies are small and portable. Heck, you don't even have to pack bottles if you nurse.  Grab a diaper and go. 
6. Quiet Time - Get it in even if it is just a "quiet moment"- you always feel better after a little time with the Lord. Just sayin'

I do have to say, that the days I follow these I am a much happier, healthier woman. I also tend to get more stuff done - funny enough.  I need to remember these every day to keep my head on straight.  I DO NOT use this everyday, but I bet my husband wishes I did.

A Day During Jacy's First Month

Here is how my days go.  To keep track of the days, I start at midnight.  You will see why this works well.

12:00am - Put Jacy in bed.  This is about the time she goes down.
2:00am - Diaper change and nurse in the dark while I am half a sleep.
6:00am- Wake up to my alarm in a panic because Jacy slept for 4 hours.  Diaper change and nurse Jacy while I watch the news then go back to bed.
9:00am - Diaper change and nurse Jacy then go back to bed again.
10:30am - Diaper change and nurse Jacy then do a load of diapers and other random housework while Jacy is in her bassinet, swing, or bouncer seat.  She chills and sleeps during this time. I also get in a shower during this time.
12:00pm- Diaper chance and nurse Jacy and have lunch with Josh. He holds her a lot then I hold her. This is our prime sleepy baby snuggle time.
2:30pm - Diaper change and nurse Jacy.  She ussually stays awake for a little while we do some tummy time read books or she might spend time in the Moby Wrap while we do housework together.  She may also get a bath or go for a walk.  
4:00pm - Diaper change and nurse Jacy and take a nap if I can.
5:00pm - Josh comes home and we talk about his day.
7:00pm - Diaper change and nurse Jacy and eat dinner.  Jacy is also usually awake for a few minutes during this time and Josh plays with Jacy until she is hungry or sleepy again. I try to do some housework or I take a nap.
9:30pm - Diaper change and nurse Jacy. She is also awake for while again. We talk, tummy time, or play with dad. For some reason Jacy thinks from around 7-10 is the best time to be awake.  I think this is because she is her father's daughter.
10:30pm till 12:00 - I start trying to get Jacy to go to bed without success.  I nurse her for 10 minutes till she falls asleep and then I put her in her crib and she wakes up in 20 minutes. This continues till around midnight.  Josh sometimes gets her to go to bed by rocking her. During this time Josh and I watch TV while I do the nurse, put to bed, get back up cycle.  A few times Jacy has gone to bed around 11:00. It was awesome.

Tonight, Jacy is in bed at 9:00pm!!! That is how I got to write this blog post.  I really want to remember how crazy this time is so when her schedule is a little less demanding I can be thankful.  Now I better go to bed before this kid gets hungry again...
too late.

Baby Gotta Eat

As most people know I am attempting to nurse Jacy for the obvious financial and health benefits. I went in to this endeavor with what I thought was a lot of information under my belt. During our Bradley Method Classes we talked at length about breastfeeding for 2 of the 12 sessions. I attended 2 Le Leche League meeting before I delivered. I talked with anyone I could about nursing and how they had made it work. I checked out countless books from the library on the subject and even purchased a few to have on hand after Jacy came. With all that being said I had NO IDEA what it would actually be like to nurse a baby.

There are many things that no book or person makes totally clear in regards to nursing. The first being that it is a very messy procedure when you first start. I swear Jacy and I were both covered from head to toe in "people milk" as it is now called at our house. It got so bad that by the end of the day we would both smell like spoiled milk. This is not a joke, just ask Josh.

Also, Jacy and I had some troubles getting her to latch and stay awake. This was made much worse by the advice of some very well meaning nurses and lactation consultants at our hospital. When we first had trouble instead of saying "try again" or "try holding her a different way", they handed us a silicone sombrero that you put over your nipple called a nipple shield. I had only briefly read about these in some book. They were not discussed at our classes or at the Le Leche League meetings. I remembered that they were used for premature babies but I assumed that the people at the hospital knew better about such things. That was totally false. I ended up with bloody nipples and clogged milk ducts (ouch!!! and sorry for TMI) and a lazy baby. The only thing that got us over it was encouragement from my mom and friends and the outside lactation nurse at Kilgores Medical Pharmacy. Seriously, there was NO WAY I would breastfeeding right now if I had not gone to see Beth. It was amazing. She helped us loose the shield and get Jacy to eat with no trouble. We had to go see her quite a bit for weight checks and it was one of the most reassuring things I did during my first weeks home with Jacy. Not to mention it was free!? I love free.

Anyways, I really want to remember how tricky everything was and how the solution was so simple. I should have just followed my own new "mommy gut" and done what I thought was right for Jacy and I. The Good Lord would not give us a baby and leave us unequipped to care for her. I need to remember that.

Things I Can(not) Live Without

Here is a list of things that I cannot live without at this stage in the game. I would like to note that I am perfectly aware I could, realistically live without everything on the list. I just have no desire to do that. Also, I am perfectly aware that most of you do not care about this post. I just wanted to remember it if I ever decide to do this crazy thing again.

• Prefold Diapers - Holds everything all the time. Easy to change. Easy to clean. I am not sure how I am going to like the fancy pants diapers I have for Jacy when she gets older. If you have not tried prefolds, I highly recommend them.
• Video Monitor - Our house is super small and I could hear Jacy cry no matter where I am. The thing that makes the monitor so cool is that I can check on her without going in and letting her see me. This has also made sleeping easier because I do not have to get out of bed to see that it was a "in her sleep cry/coo" and not a "wake up and feed me lady cry". This has been awesome. We have a Summer Infant brand. LOVE IT!
• Tie Dyed Onesies. Too fun.Thanks Mellisa
• Changing Table - I do not like changing her anywhere else. It is too hard and stressful for me. I know I am crazy. (NOTE - We do not actually have a changing table. Just a changing pad thingy mounted to a dresser.)
• Breast Pump - Helped me through some tough spots.
• Colace and Tucks Pads - Also helped me through some tough spots.
• Bouncer Seat - Ours has some highfalutin name. I can't remember right now. It does everything. Thanks Aunt Rachelle and Aunt Donna. This thing keeps her awake and happy. CRAZY
• Swing - She falls asleep instantly.Sometimes it scares me!
• Moby Wrap - This should be called "Lets you get the dishes done machine." I love this. I get to snuggle my baby and write this blog post. WIN!
• My husband - He is the bomb. He knows that Jacy likes "jumps" and can change a prefold in his sleep. He also comes home for lunch and sometimes lets me get in a nap. He tells me to knock it off when I am being crazy. He watches TV with me in the evening even though he doesn't care for it because that is all I can do at this point.

The funny thing about this list is that these are not the things I thought I would find useful (with the exception on my husband) Parenthood is a trip.

NOTE - It took me 2, no 3, days and multiple attempts to write this.

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Prayer without Ceasing

If you want to work on the whole "pray without ceasing" thing, bring home a newborn baby. Take the past two hours for example. I had two friends over to chat and whatnot. During this time Jacy needed a diaper change. I left her lying on the couch next to my dear friend and I said "watch that girl" while I got the diaper. On the 12 foot walk to the diaper, I prayed that Ashley would catch her if she started to roll off (which at this point would make her the most advanced baby in all history) I then also prayed that she would not make a mess on the couch because I had never changed her there before. (and I don't care to do that very often in the future) I then realized I didn't have a wipe and the I prayed that her girl parts would be ok because I didn't wipe. (even though one book I read suggested not using wipes for non-poo diapers) I them started to feed her and my typical prayer of please make sure she gets enough food/please make sure she stays awake to eat started. I then realized I had not washed my hands, even though I had touched nothing unsanitary, so I prayed for germs to not find her. Then she had another diaper change and I prayed the typical, please don't let her get diaper rash prayer. Mind you, all of this was occurring while having two friends over and chatting. You should hear how much I pray when it is just Jacy and I at home. I am hoping I did not seem to distant while my friends were over. I was trying very hard to multitask.

I pray all day long. Please let her sleep- which is always followed by please let her wake up. Please help her eat well - which is always followed by please help my body provide the food. Please let her poop - which is always followed by please be the last poop for the next hour till the diapers get out of the dyer. The list could go on forever.

These are not idol "I wish" kind of prayers. These are real, true prayers that make me worry less about my sweet girl and remind me I am not the one in control of what happens to me or any member of my family. It sounds weird to say that all this prayer makes me worry less but it really does seem to help. Now I pray that I get some sleep!!!